I don’t think this is exactly a profound observation, but I’m so sick of movie trailers that edit together the only three good minutes of a movie to make it look good, and then completely fail to deliver. I was thinking about this because I was talking about The Adjustment Bureau the other day for some reason. That’s a movie that was totally mediocre, but the preview made it look SO GOOD. I thought it was going to be the best thing ever. In case you need a refresher:

I mean, this looks like all the shit I like in a film – some kind of weird, dark concept based on a Philip K. Dick story and Emily Blunt. Whatever, I have specific tastes. Anyway, the movie didn’t deliver on whatever it was I was expecting. Honestly, I wish it had been weirder and darker, and that the adjustment bureau dudes’ one weakness wasn’t water. I also thought the ending was stupid. Like, yes, there was a struggle or whatever, but then the people who control the fabric of the universe just left these people alone because….Emily Blunt and Matt Damon were for realz in love I guess? I don’t know. Dumb.

Another more recent example is Snow White & the Huntsman, which had THE BEST TRAILER EVER!

COME ON. That is a great preview. You know you wanted to see this movie. And then you saw it and you were all…….really? REALLY? I know I should have known better. I should have remembered that, with few exceptions, I cannot stand Kristen Stewart. And she was in fine form in this one, with the constant lip biting and mumbling. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE SHE’S PRETTIER THAN CHARLIZE THERON I KNOW BEAUTY IS SUBJECTIVE BUT THAT’S JUST CRAZY! Anyway. I wish this movie had been called The Evil Queen, and was just about Theron’s character and that there was no stag in it. Like, yes, it was better than Mirror Mirror, but not that much better, and that is a travesty.

Anyway, I kind of just think whoever’s editing these trailers should also be editing the films they’re for. Because even if the previews are extremely short, they do tell a story. So why can’t these two minutes just be expanded to an hour and a half and form a good story instead of a mediocre one? I want to live in a world where they make the trailer first, and expand it to make the full movie. This seems logical! Why am I not a filmmaker/trailer editor?

Oh, and I should also mention that there are very rare occasions where the reverse thing happens and the trailer looks awful but then the movie is really good. Example: 21 Jump Street.

I watched it and, based on my experiences with trailers, I assumed these were the best scenes in the whole film. But I was so wrong! This movie was actually really funny, with animated drug trip scenes and weird Korean Jesus references and action scenes that referenced cliche action movies and awesome cameos. So I don’t think there’s a moral to this story – just don’t trust previews and see every movie ever to decide for yourself if it’s good. I’m a genius.