Today I saw Total Recall with my mom. It was approximately as mediocre as I expected, so the best part for me were her comments and general confusion. I think I need to start seeing more bad movies with my mom.

 

Mom: Wait, who’s the main guy in this?

Me: Colin Farrell.

Mom: What? That’s Colin Farrell? I thought it was that guy from that sitcom! You know. John something.

Me: …

Mom: Santos! John Santos.

Me: Who’s John Santos? That’s definitely Colin Farrell.

Mom: Oh. Are you sure?

**********

(About an hour and a half into the movie)

Mom: Hey, that’s that guy! From that show!

Me: Are you talking about Bryan Cranston? From Breaking Bad? He’s been in this whole movie!

Mom: Yeah, he looks different, I think.

**********

Mom: Well, at least she (Jessica Biel) has nice teeth.

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Mom: Is she (Kate Beckinsale’s character) ever going to die? This is ridiculous.

Me: I don’t know, probably.

Mom: I hope she dies.

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(As we’re leaving the theatre)

Mom: I hated that. I still don’t even know what it was about.

Me: What didn’t you get?

Mom: I don’t know. Don’t explain it. I just hated it.

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